By Tom Davidson
Camouflage is the act, means, or result of obscuring things to deceive an enemy or prey by painting or screening clothing or objects so that they are lost to view in the background. The root of the word in French means, to disguise.
Communication camouflage is the use of words that disguise the truth in order to have a more desirable-than-expected impact. One particular form of communication camouflage is couching, a common form of camouflage that you might not even know you are using.
Couching indirectly obscures true meaning with preface language as shown in the examples below, which offers key phrases to avoid and the negative translations others often make of each.
| Preface Language | Translation |
|---|---|
| To tell you the truth…
To be honest… |
This person is trying too hard to convince me that what they are saying is the truth. Therefore, I don’t trust what they are about to say and wonder if they’ve been truthful other times when they don’t use the preface language. |
| With all due respect…
No offense, but… |
Whatever this person is about to say is going to be total disagreement, diminishment, or dismissal of my leadership or opinion. As a result, I’m already defensive before I hear what they have to say. |
| I don’t mean to…
I’m not trying to… It’s not that I… |
This person is predicting my reaction and worried that their real intentions will be transparent. So they are trying to dissuade me from that conclusion in advance. However, it makes me suspect that those intentions are true and clues me in to what their real intentions might be. |
Even if you have the best intentions, be careful how you couch your messages in an effort to mitigate your impacts. In most cases, you’ll be better off without the preface, and you’ll have more positive and authentic impressions by just saying what’s on your mind.
It’s the nature of communication and the nature of leadership.